I am at my mid-way point of the challenge so I thought I would check in and update you on my journey so far.
There's a first time for everything
On my first night out without makeup I felt completely out of my comfort zone - when I go out in the evenings I usually wear a flick of eyeliner and my signature pillar box red lipstick. But now I was bare, stripped of my usual mask.
I still got hit on, so it seems that the opposite sex still find me attractive. That is really the least of my worries during this challenge but it did make me realise people were liking me for me, for who I am, not my looks. Or liking my looks without the facade of makeup.
I mentioned to a close guy friend that I had started my challenge and that I wasn’t wearing any makeup his response was ‘oh yeah’ as if he hadn’t even realised it. With my night out complete I had broken down my first barrier. And guess what? My life didn't fall to pieces, it was surprisingly normal. It's funny how most of the stuff coming up is mental not physical.
My first day in the office, I admit I felt a little nervous. On my arrival my friend & colleague told me I looked beautiful and fresh faced. I forgot about my challenge unless I checked in the mirror. The lighting is really horrible there though so by the end of the day I did not feel my best self but I am yet to determine if that is because of work, or the way I feel about my face…
I told my granddad about my challenge and unfortunately he didn’t get it. I explained how I had felt my confidence lacking in some situations or feeling vulnerable but that it was a positive experience to challenge my internal belief system. His suggestion was to put the makeup back on and I would find my confidence again! Aww granddad! Its wonderful to hear other people's perspectives on my challenges, but I wont be going back to makeup just yet. After almost a week I can already see how powerful this challenge will be for me long term.
Travelling around Luxemburg city and I found myself with an adequate amount of male attention. I do notice that there is a slight change in how many guys are interested but now I find myself attracting more sincere, genuine individuals. I am surprised that nothing really has changed in terms of how my life used to be. I thought a lack of makeup may turn men off, but it seems they like it!
Totally embracing my no makeup and enjoying my fresh face truly. As I go about my daily life I realise that nothing is different, it is actually my perception of the situations. I realise I am still me, all day and everyday – make up or no make-up.
Beginning to feel a little anxiety about going to Magic Salsa Festival in Slovenia. I feel nervous and excited because this is where I will face my hardest challenge yet.
Second week onwards
I somehow felt like I was missing out – watching my sister apply her makeup did make me miss mine. I definitely had some moments of doubting my self-worth. The firsts are always the hardest though, and after that it become easier with each day I was there.
The thing about Salsa Festivals is that it is a place of glamour and dressing up. So I felt very out of place by not wearing any. I actually felt like I got some looks like - oh she didn't make an effort. But that was probably just my mind playing tricks on me.
While I was there I was told by a guy that he liked my personality which is the first time I think I have ever received that as an initial complement – it usually tends to be a compliment on my hair or looks.
All in all nothing actually changed for me, despite unraveling some interesting emotions about my self-worth and self-validation. I am wondering what beauty really is now? Is it all about the energy you radiate?
Thank you for reading and supporting my journey of inner growth!
With love & gratitude.